I completely understand how you feel. It’s hard. But I have to agree that you wee making the right choice, even though they obviously made the wrong one in canceling on you!
You wanted to be heard, so you catered to the potential audience. It makes sense.
I also love what you said about gender being like drag. That’s an awesome description.
It makes me think of Eddie Izzard when asked about wearing women’s dresses. He stated, they weren’t women’s dresses, they were his dresses, he bought them. Just as they weren’t men’s trousers when women wear them, they were their trousers.