Honestly, no one should ever shame anyone, playfully or not. Part of being sex positive is owning our own pleasure and what gets us there. As a feminist and sex positive human, it’s my job to say what *I* need to get me where I need to be in order to feel the pleasure I desire. My partner, male or female, in turn needs to listen.

I’ve been in relationships where my partner didn’t give a damn. I communicated, they didn’t listen. That didn’t give me the right to shame them. What it gave me the right to do was decide if I wanted to continue to be there and not be heard or walk away.

It’s no different than when someone slut shames me for being an open minded sexually free woman. I’m guessing you don’t think that’s okay, right? So how is it okay for me (or anyone else) to shame a man for not giving me orgasms?

If we want orgasms, or anything else in this world, we need to ask for them. Show our partners, no matter the gender, what does it for us.

Communication is a wonderful thing.

Sex educator working toward a more sex positive world, one word at a time. Contact: demeterdelune@gmail.com YouTube: bit.ly/3n5LpC5

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